things that are bad:
- i hurt and can’t move etc
- i have paint in my hair and no energy to remove it
- i’m emotionally hurt (bit too private to post..)
- i don’t feel close to god
- housework needs doing and i can’t
- i have work to do but it takes so much longer
- drama isn’t going well and i don’t have the energy/motivation
- i am not close to my family
- i cannot enjoy the hobbies i used to, like i used to
- i can’t afford new clothes or nice things
- i can’t be generous with people because i have nothing to give
- in the same way i have no skills or anything to give, i am useless
- i am lonely, i don’t feel loved
- i hate how i look
- i hate myself
- i don’t know how to express my love to joe
- i don’t know how i feel on ‘controversial issues’ and i feel a pressure to have it worked out
- i didn’t get in contact with my doctor, dentist or osteopath today
things that are good:
- god still loves me even though i do stupid things, don’t love myself, fail to love joe and him properly, fail with relationships in general
- god says i am not useless. i have a purpose i just don’t know it yet or aren’t listening/understanding properly
- joe still loves me, somehow
- so does god, immensely
- god and joe are forgiving
- i will just keep pushing to pursue god and he will reward me, in his good time
- dad will have that new job soon
- god will make me a way to make money soon (i’ve heard he provides)
- housework can be done when i feel well enough
- i can make my calls on monday
- god will give me answers in the best time
- one day i might not have a disease
- some day at least i will be better at managing my disease
- some day, i might even know how to use this crappy experience for good
- either way i know god will use it for good
- my exams will happen however they happen, my responsibility is to do my best and that is what i am doing damnit
- i will continue to pray for, and work on my family relationships, god will take care of it
- also
- the paint will come out of my hair
I have a lot to thank God for.
